Reframing for Forgiveness

Father Miles O’Brien Riley, PhD, in his audiobook, Forgiveness…Is the Gift You Give Yourself, states that his 40 years work as a priest and listening to confessions have now lead him to believe that the three people that are the hardest to forgive are:

1. Our parents
2. God
3. Ourselves

I resonate with his observations. My own work with a group of writers in our community’s Writing for Health group prompts me to add one more challenge to the list of major forgiveness concerns: our children-in-law.

Here is a forgiveness strategy that you can use regardless of “who” is the hardest to forgive on your own list of candidates: reframing. This technique works by focusing on a person who irritates you or otherwise “wounds” you repeatedly.

One friend told me that she was recently realized that her irritating and challenging was a very very good wife to her son and an excellent mother of her grandchildren. She suddenly realized that her daughter-in-law was a gift in disguise.

Try this exercise:

1. Take a person who constantly irritates you.
2. See the person in your mind. Let them act out past actions in the theater of your mind.
3. Make a list of what you see that is good and bad.
4. Write how and why you cherish what you see as “good.”
5. Then tackle the “bad.” Are there any gifts in disguise there?

Keep writing until you identify a gift in disguise. Then write a short thank you note to the offending person. Remember that this is a part of your on-going personal writing practice. So don’t send you thank you note. Tear it up, burn it, or save it in a safe place. Keep it personal.

Writing Scholarship Available for Survivors of Trauma and Abuse

PRESS RELEASE for immediate release

CONTACT: Ellen Taliaferro, MD   650-393-3660

The 2011 San Francisco Writers Conference Announces
a Writing Scholarship for Survivors of Trauma:
The Ellen Taliaferro, MD, Scholarship
Dedicated to the Restoring Good Health after Trauma

Survivors of trauma and abuse—and the advocates and professionals who support them—can all apply for a full scholarship to the 2010 San Francisco Writers Conference (February 18th-20th, 2010) where they will have their non-fiction writing recognized and reviewed by literary agents and publishing houses.

San Francisco, CA—10/XX/2010—The 2011 San Francisco Writers Conference has been endowed a remarkable scholarship that will shine a light on the lingering health consequences for victims of trauma and abuse.  The Ellen Taliaferro, MD, Scholarship Dedicated to the health and recovery of victims of Trauma and Abuse will be awarded to a writer who is writing as a survivor of trauma or abuse or an advocate or professional who is working with them.  The scholarship will pay for a full registration to the 2011 San Francisco Writers Conference to be held February 18 –20, 2011 at the InterContinental Mark Hopkins Hotel.  The scholarship will include a private appointment with a nonfiction editor and agent.  There will be a small stipend to partially cover travel and accommodations.

Writers who wish to apply for the scholarship must submit a 250-word explanation of why they want the scholarship, four (4) pages of their work in progress, and a single-page proposal outline for their project. The story can be written as a personal story, memoir, nonfiction book or novel.  Contact information, including an email address, must be included with the entry.  The deadline for submissions is December 23,2010.  There is no entry fee required. Entries for The Ellen Taliaferro Scholarship for Survivors of violence and abuse must be directed electronically to Ellen Taliaferro, MD via email at DrTSpeaks@gmail.com.

All submitted entries for the scholarship will be considered for the scholarship if they meet the following criteria:

• Each entry will consist of four items:

• An email stating your name and contact information and the last four numbers of your social security number or your phone number for identification purposes.
• A 250-word explanation of why you want the scholarship
• Four (4) pages of your work or proposed work in progress
• A single-page proposal outline of your project

• Each page must have one inch margins and a header or footer that contains your chosen four (4) digit number
• Use a 12 point standard font for all documents
• Use 1.5 spacing for the four-page submission of your work in progress
• Do not put your name on any item submitted other than your entry email.

Deadline for submission of your entry is December 15, 2010.

For questions about the scholarship, contact Dr. Taliaferro at 650-393-3660.

The 2011 San Francisco Writers Conference will take place February 18-20, 2011 at the InterContinental Mark Hopkins Hotel.  Donations from individuals and companies (including John Wiley & Sons) also make scholarships available each year for Bay Area high school

To learn more about the 2001 SF Writers conference, click here.

WellWriting for Your Health

by

Ellen Taliaferro, MD, FACEP

WellWriting is a form of expressive writing used to promote wellness and self-improvement after past stress and trauma. Writing as a health tool goes by several names:

• Journaling
• Expressive writing
• Therapeutic writing
• Emotive writing

Research by psychologist James Pennebaker from the University of Texas in Austin and others in the healthcare field has proven that such writing is a therapeutic tool. Their research reveals the positive effects of writing to discharge negative and harmful emotions associated with past trauma.

Improvement of various physical and mental conditions has been reported in several patient populations through the use of control studies. To date improvement has been shown for asthma, arthritis, chronic pain syndromes and chronic fatigue syndrome, just to name a few.

Does expressive writing work? In the summer 2004 issue of Clinical Psychology: Science & Practice, notes that expressive writing has in general produced good results, but the real puzzle is why does it work and how?1 To date, there has not been a single theory produced to explain why it works. This may be, in part, because expressive writing affects those who engage in it on many different levels: mentally, emotionally, physically and socially.

Still, we know some things about journaling or expressive writing. Such writing leads to self-disclosure that helps you identify your problems and recognize their emotional impact on you.

Experiences that cause you trauma can lead you to have intricate and distressful feelings. To complicate matters, others who underwent the same trauma at the same time may be impacted entirely differently. What a mystery that some are affected one way while others go free of lingering emotion.

Ellen Taliaferro, MD, FACEP is an

Use Your Personal Writing For Weight Loss And Creativity

Instead of eating, you discover what’s eating you.

–Julia Cameron

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, found herself 50 pounds heavier after being placed on a new medication. What to do?

She found the answer in her own work after noticing that students taking her 12-week course in writing often left the class thinner than when they began the course.  She wrote the book, The Writing Diet, once she made this connection. You can read a Newsweek magazine interview with Julia by clicking here.

Tarcher Talks feature several of Julia Cameron’s books. To see the video featuring her book about writing for weight loss, click here.

Five Ways to Nurture Yourself While Healing

Article contributed

by

Meridith Walker

During a time of healing after trauma, it is important that you spend extra time taking care of yourself. Don’t rush the process, but instead embrace opportunities for self-care.  The following are five ways to nurture yourself while opening yourself up to that important time you need to recover.

Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal just for you. Say the things you don’t want to speak aloud, write about the emotions you are experiencing, or write a letter to someone who hurt you and tear it up afterward. The act of getting all these feelings out is cathartic and will help you heal.

Stay positive. It is easy to blame yourself or fall prey to negative self-talk after a trauma. Instead, try to focus on all the positives in your life. If you discover you are having a hard time staying away from the negative, try this old trick. Put a rubber band around your wrist, and each time you start thinking negative thoughts, pop yourself lightly with the rubber band. This works to maintain awareness of where your thoughts are going.

Surround yourself with supportive and healthy people. Seek the company of those who offer you support, love, and friendship. Stay away from those who dwell on the negative, require too much of your energy, or engage in unhealthy behaviors. Sometimes it can be difficult to limit your time with unhealthy friends or family, but this is important for your healing process.

Pamper yourself. Pamper yourself in ways you may not normally do so. Take warm baths or showers, drink soothing teas, surround yourself with calm music and soothing aromas. (Lavender is a good one.)  If you are comfortable with massages, allowing yourself to experience a professional massage is an excellent way to relax tense muscles and release toxins built up in your body. Think about activities you have enjoyed in the past and consider starting them up again. Try reading, picking up old hobbies or learning new ones, or taking online classes to keep yourself focused on your bright and healthy future.

Do yoga. Go online for instruction and video if you have never tried yoga, or practice a few of your favorite poses if you already know some. Doing yoga helps your body and mind become strong and focused. The breathing technique involved in yoga also works to calm your body and mind. By engaging in just 10 or 15 minutes of yoga a day, you experience the benefits of both exercise and relaxation.
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This post was contributed by Meredith Walker, who writes about the online nursing schools. She welcomes your feedback at MeredithWalker1983 at gmail.com

Let’s Write Something Together

Writing to address old and anticipated significant events in like proves to be healing as well as soothing. At this time, we have six workshops scheduled here in Half Moon Bay for attendees who wish to learn how to develop a personal writing practice to address issues such as major life transitions, grief, and spiritual growth. To learn more about this, please click here.

Writing for Weight Control?

Many of us have ongoing struggles with our weight. We find that “diets” don’t work for the most part nor do most of the “gimmicks” that go around.

But here’s a question: Can a writing practice help you lose weight? Writing guru Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way book says, “Yes.”

Check out an interview with her in Newsweek where she reports that she went from a size 16 to a size 10 once she put her program into place. Better yet, visit Amazon to take a peek at her book by clicking here.

The Writing Practice Prescription